“I thought I had lost my voice, but perhaps I was just being asked to listen more deeply.”
Lately, I’ve found it hard to write. The usual rhythm and hum of sharing, reflecting, reaching out has somehow quietened.
At first, I thought it was just creative stillness. But as I sat with the silence, I noticed something else underneath it: a dipping in my chest, a tenderness, a kind of ache. As I felt into my heart, I could feel, longing.
Longing not just for words, but for connection. To you , to the community that has grown around these shared reflections. And the more I listened to my heart, the more I began to see that this longing wasn’t a problem to solve. It was Shakti. It wasn’t the absence of connection, but its most tender form.
Rather than force myself to push through, (often my go too), and get on with the job, I turned to the Shiva Process Self-Inquiry, a practice I’ve learned through the teachings of Swami Shankarananda. It’s a method of moving gently and honestly into your feeling. not as a means to fix it, but to feel it, honour it, and ultimately liberate it.
This is what I did:
Where is the feeling?
What does it feel like in the body?
Is it linked to sadness, fear, or anger?
What is true about this moment?
What I found was a quiet mix of sadness. Sadness for being apart from something I love with a thread of fear, whispering: “You’re falling behind… you’re letting something slip.” But as I stayed with the sensation, something else emerged. Something sacred.
This heaviness in my chest is the pain of creative stillness, when the words won’t come but the love remains.
This sensation is the heartbreak of disconnection, even though I know the love is still there.(thank you for the messages)
This ache is the sorrow of not being seen or known by the ones I care about.
These recognitions didn’t make the feeling disappear, it actually intensified them a little, but they shifted. They shifted me from a place of self-judgement (tearing thoughts) to a space of devotion. And from there, something opened:
Even when I’m quiet, the thread of love remains.
My silence is not a disappearance, it’s a sacred vibration.
I honour my longing as a sign of love.
Finally, I turned toward the Divine:
The Guru knows my heart, even when I’m silent.
This longing belongs to the Shakti too, it’s her ache to share, to serve, to love.
This stillness is my friend.
Sharing this with you now is my way of honouring what’s true in me and true in you. If you’re in a quiet space right now, if you’ve stepped back, or lost words, or feel the ache of creative stillness I want to offer this practice to you.
Here’s how you can begin:
Bring your awareness to your body.
Ask where the strongest feeling is; navel, heart, throat, third eye?
Describe the sensation you’re experiencing, not what you think.
Is it linked to sadness, fear, or anger?
Let it speak.
Name it accurately. (Notice it and Name it)
Then ask: what would be a Beneficial way to see this? This is like what would my best friend say to me right now.
And finally, bring in a God/Guru statement—a reminder of the bigger truth, the higher love. AKA - what would my chosen Higher Power say to me right now.
This is the Shiva Process Self-Inquiry. It’s not a fix; it’s a sacred recognition.
And when we recognise truth, the Self shines through.
Thank you for still being here.
Thank you for being part of this thread.
I feel you in the silence.
In gratitude
Yogini Rabia
